| My youngest sister was born when I was 13 years old. It was a few months before the sex education program started at school, and I had no knowledge about sex. Friends made fun of my parents for having a baby, and that was really confusing for me. I respect my parents. They were very austere and never affectionate in front of us as children. They never gave me clear answers to my questions about sex and reproduction. My mother was very religious. She was prejudice against everything sexual, including love scenes on TV or in movies, even my sister’s boyfriend. When I was old enough, I went to the temple services with my mother, so I naturally was influenced in believing that casual sex was a sin. | 
|
Seiji Yonehara
Seiji Yonehara, My Name is Turdy Yellow. Silkscreen print, Edition of 10, 41 x 28.5 cm, Courtesy of Nakaochiai Gallery, Tokyo.My youngest sister was born when I was 13 years old. It was a few months before the sex education program started at school, and I had no knowledge about sex. Friends made fun of my parents for having a baby, and that was really confusing for me.
I respect my parents. They were very austere and never affectionate in front of us as children. They never gave me clear answers to my questions about sex and reproduction.
My mother was very religious. She was prejudice against everything sexual, including love scenes on TV or in movies, even my sister’s boyfriend. When I was old enough, I went to the temple services with my mother, so I naturally was influenced in believing that casual sex was a sin.
Therefore, my initial sexual experiences were very confusing, and I even wondered if sex was necessary for “love” or not. I was consumed with guilt. Even now, I cannot deny the existence of this guilty feeling with regards to sex in my subconscious.
In my works, I like using stuffed or cartoon-like animals such as panda-bears, rabbits and cats, as in the art of Katharina Fritsch, Jeff Koons and Mike Kelly. I find these motifs visually powerful. I am also deeply moved by several outsider artists’ works, particularly the works of Bill Traylor and Henry Darger. Some outsider artists’ works are so innocent, yet so truthful, so bizarre, yet so beautiful and pure —even if the content is irrational. I can find the same type of dichotomies in music composed by Daniel Johnston and Brian Wilson. Their works appear childish and primitive, yet so powerful and pure.
Brian Wilson wrote in his autobiography, “If I saw her today, I’d probably think, God, she’s lost something, because growing up does that to people…” And, as in Andre Breton’s dichotomous description, "Beautiful as the chance encounter of a sewing machine and an umbrella on an operating table,” I can find beauty in the comparison between unstable sex and, simultaneously, an innocent and pure childhood. The joy of finding beauty is the motivation behind my work. At the same time, I wish to deal with this fragile, melancholic and ambivalent conflict, and live a healthier life in mental peace and harmony.
Lastly, by objectively looking at this internal conflict and facing it head on—sharing it with an audience, learning from their comments—I can grow mentally. This is the other reason I continue to make my work.
